The Diastema Diaries

Are you there Yahweh? It's me, Margaret.

OMG, I could just DIE! Mom and Dad just took me to the dentist, and even though he said he could put a bridge in...they decided to just leave the gap in my teeth.  The HUGE, ugly gap that's so ginormous I can stick one of those big McDonald's milkshake straws in it.  Seriously, like, I bet Mom's just being tight, or maybe this is part of Dad's diabolical scheme to prevent me from dating until I'm like, super-old... like, 20!  ARGH. 

***flash forward 12 years***

W Magazine "Mind The Gap"

Vancouver Sun "Gap teeth the latest beauty trend"

The Guardian "Lara Stone and Georgia Mae Jagger make gap teeth the new face of fashion"

Etc...

Georgia Mae Jagger is the face of campaigns for Rimmel cosmetics, Versace, and Hudson Jeans.

Lara Stone, possibly the busiest model of 2010

Ashley Smith

 

ANTM's Chelsea - during the makeover episode, they actually shaved down her gap to widen it.

Lindsey Wixon - current runway darling

Ah, looks like the Japanese philosophy Wabi-Sabi is back, come to impede our Western quest for aesthetic perfection.  Wabi-Sabi seeks to find the beauty in all things imperfect, incomplete, or transient. 

Wabi-Sabi sound a bit too much like a cousin of the spicy tuna handroll?  Then try: Jolie-laide (which literally translates as 'pretty ugly'), oft used to describe women who are stunning, but not classically beautiful.

Whatever the linguistic stylings, this dialogue is everywhere.  New-age phraseology like "self-love, not self-improvement" has been embedded in the magazine racks since last fall.  As a gap-toothed gal myself, I've made sure to page through the Lara Stone spreads and 'inspirational' beauty editorials.  In a couple glossies, I even found the just-as-you-are philosophy being preached in the monthly 'Trend' column, without the slightest ironic undertone.  Yes, kiddies, self-acceptance is IN this season.  Phew!

Well...

Take heart, fellow diastema dames, for trends may come and go

but Lauren Hutton is forever. 

Distracting NYFW Trend - Bad Black Hats

So that was New York Fashion Week, folks.  More posts to come on the good and the bad, but first things first... The Ugly!

At least those twins at The Row gave us something functional (fur) as did apres-ski favourite Moncler Grenoble (earwarmers, yeah!).  A host of other designers must have held a little roundtable and resolved to do inappropriate, incongruous black hats.

I'm not real eager to top my graphic DVF wrap with an obsidian matador hat:

Diane Von Furstenburg tightens them bolos

The Vena Cava models looked like pretentious art school dropouts, doing the walk of shame, all black berets and smeared eye glitter.

Vena Cava - Brooklyn's finest does bondage tops and black berets

It was really progressive of Victoria Beckham to hire an entire lineup of epileptic models, though.  I haven't seen anyone look this chic in a rugby helmet since Natalie Portman's turn in Garden State.

Victoria Beckham, great show, 100% ear-free

Karen Walker puts her girls in beanies, giving them that dockworker's-daughter-on-a-Saturday-night-vibe

And my Malandrino, so classy, so smart, so schlumpy:

At Catherine Malandrino: keep the sliced booties, lose the hobo hat

Presented without comment:

Anna Sui

And at the mother of all NYFW shows, Marc Jacobs, the hairdressing budget must have been spent on set design instead.  All the models came out with rakish saucer-caps, like so many synchronized swimmers:

Marc Jacobs - verdict: saucer-caps not so saucy

Body Chains

Not just for belly dancers anymore!  I was surprised to see these roll out alongside the heavy winter boots and chunky sweater since they really seem like more of a summertime accessory.  Nonetheless, body chains are here!  These dainty chains make a statement as loud as the biggest bibs or heaviest collars, so wear accordingly... best paired with modal T-shirts, soft tanks, and a well-heated office.  Why layer over these beauties?

Festoon your torso with the following:

Armor Jewelry $275

Bliss Lau $330

Bliss Lau $500

Ellen Arthur $215

'Surrounded' necklace by Brook&Lyn $285

'Surrounded Day' - agate, rope and leather. 
Check out the designer's site here.

Worth A Thousand - my eyes... MY EYES!!!

In response to Tim Gunn's assertion that men can wear 'jeggings', Conan dons them for last night's monologue
proving Tim Gunn, TBS censors, and the laws of physics wrong.

Velvet Dresses

It's that time of year again.  I want to swath myself in yards of velvet and attend fabulous parties with cater waiters and ambient piano playing.

Emma Watson on the H.P. & the D.H. junket.

Velvet never goes out.  It just gets misappropriated every now and then...

...chiefly by mid-90's prom-goers.

Note: the Urban Dictionary contains the term Velvet Dress Lady:

A term made by a group of suburban kids in Seattle meaning  something

that is unfavorable, annoying, unpleasant, stupid and non-sensical.

Also used to describe something or someone ugly, gross, or unfashionable.

example: "Don't be so velvet dress lady, I was just asking [a question]."

Don't be a Velvet Dress Lady; be a lady wearing a velvet dress!

To avoid looking like you've escaped from a weekend at the Renaissance Fair, invest in velvet and forget the velour.  Before you buy, ask yourself: "does this look like a caftan made from old Juicy Couture sweatpants or more like a beautiful table runner from The Palace at Versailles?"  Check out the richness and density of this Burberry Prorsum:

Looks sumptuous, even in 2D, right?

While this material hangs and drapes so well it screams 'Festive Soiree', I have included plenty of short frocks that could easily become daywear with the right styling.  Mix contrasting (think: complementary, not clashing) textures for a modern look.

Barlow dress ($248) at I Don't Like Mondays 

Etro burnout dress (~$1450) eBay seller ajmfashions

Shoshanna dress ($375) at Shopbop

Christopher Kane runway dress

Behnaz Sarafpour runway dress

Diane Von Furstenberg Grano dress ($395) at Shopbop

Nanette Lepore "Love Affair" dress ($780)

Nanette Lepore jewel dress ($348)

Carven

CARVEN, the French fashion house, was established in 1945 as a Petites collection, by the very adorable Madame Carven.

Talk about a slow burn. Suddenly, it's everywhere....

I admit, I'd never heard of Carven until Guillaime Henry took the creative reigns this year.  Ever since, bloggers and magazine columnists cannot stop raving about his masterful ready-to-wear collections.  The website boasts "feminine" pieces "free from ostentation".  So much is true.  Peter pan collars, demure A-line skirts, and camel overcoats are everywhere.  It's quite possible there are ladies who lunch, lunching in Carven right now.  But I'm drawn to the more funky/youthful looks in the Winter collection: high-waist leather shorts, artful cut outs or mesh panels, and supertight knotted jersey dresses. 

Every design is clean and purposeful, the kind of pieces that would make you appear pulled-together and sharp even with bedhead and zero makeup on.

Net-a-porter just singled out Carven as a What To Wear Now! choice (which should also give you an [unfortunate] indication of the price point the label falls into).  Still, with such critical praise, I think it'll be no time before Carvenesque details will be available to the unwashed masses via the racks of Le Chateau or H&M.