Naughty but Nice

Gemma Slack's new spring collection

Girls my age talk about things like 'shoe porn' and 'label lust' quite readily, but it's only the token loudmouth/slutty one (AKA: The Samantha) who discusses honest to goodness human PORN (gasp!). Like a dirty Dan Rather, this friend is tasked with earnestly updating all her gal pals on the latest gadgets, positions, and lewd goings on. She's Little Mikey, from those 1970's "Let Mikey Try It" commercials, only she's not diving into a bowl of cereal.

This friend is no less important to the group dynamic than She-Who-Bakes-All-The-Time or Type-A-Control-Freak-Who-Party-Plans-the-Bejeezus-Outta-Everything. We all need that 'nasty gal' friend, although... I suppose my Papa Bear's poker wisdom applies to this psycho-social pigeonholing; he used to say, "If you can't spot the sucker at the table then it's probably you".

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Now, I don't mean to go all third-wave feminist, but there is a weird double standard for these sexual anthropologists among us (ie: while girls are slutty, guys are studs). So too has it gone in fashion. It goes without saying (but here, for your reading pleasure anyways) that the male and female forms have been treated disparately by all manner of artistic expression ever since some caveman picked up a stick a stick of charcoal and doodled a sketch of cavewoman.

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Keira Knightly in Miu Miu, complete with areolas.

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It's always seemed to me that what constitutes sufficient decorum in mode of dress is similarly bifurcate; historically, suitable attire doesn't depend so much on the audience or intended affect, but rather on the wearer's gender. (Wayne's World diddly doot diddly doot sound FX)... back to Junior High when girls were sent home for wearing tank tops that allowed bra straps to show. Conversely, the boys were sometimes asked to turn their T-shirts inside out if a particular teacher thought it crude or pornographic. This was in the heyday of those stupid Big Johnson shirts (which they still sell, so start saving up $18 in allowance money now Little Timmy). I think I even remember a wannabe badass sporting this tequila one in 7th Grade:

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One could argue that wearing a supportive bra or revealing some upper body flesh during hot summer months would be, however distracting, integral to a young girl's comfort and ease of movement. I have yet to hear a equally cogent argument in support of youngsters donning T-shirts silk screened with profanity or hypersexualized imagery. But anyway...

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In the realm of us free-speaking adults my Big Johnson dialogue takes on a different timbre. It becomes more about the line between:

clever, risque commentary on sexual identity and gender roles in modern society :)

&

vulgar, gratuitous pornography that degrades the wearer and disempowers the viewer :(

I am interested in designers that attempt to walk that line, many of whom are creating beautiful clothes that are, at base, just sophisticated innuendos. I am now of the mind that those grody grade school boys may have been on to something; you can't be offended by the joke if you don't get it.

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If you live in a nunnery

or under a rock,

you might just think

this is a really pretty choker

(which it is):

Leah Piepgras's Sterling Silver "Pearl Necklace"

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And if you saw me walking

down the street in a pair of these,

you'd only giggle if you had

Patrick Jane-like powers of observation

and a bit of a gutter mind:

Israeli fashion graduate, Kobi Levi, puts the fetish in 'shoe fetish' with his Blow Shoe.

Yowza!

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So, whether the viewer is delighted or enraged, they are at least engaged. For those of us that believe fashion is of great importance as a means of personal expression, then either way it's a win. A cheeky public nod to a private part of life is something every girl should try. We can't let those Samantha-friends have all the fun.

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For a 1998 AIDS charity benefit, James Fluevog designed the Body Parts shoe, which included a pro-life message on the sole and a phallic heel. He has reproduced the Body Parts shoe repeatedly, the most recent incarnation being the slick foldover ankle boot at below.